The definition of trust is, “a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.”
Having trust in someone is one of the most binding feelings we can have with another human being. Ideally, we learn this at a young age from our parents. As babies, we trust that they will feed us, bathe us and keep us safe. As we move along in life, we find trust in other relationships as well.
The first time that trust is violated by someone … ouch. In 6th grade when your friend told your crush you liked them, you learned that not everyone in your life can be trusted. You started to learn that trust is something people earn. Hopefully, you also started to practice being someone others can trust back.
Unfortunately, you’ve probably had your trust violated in a more severe way since.
When I think about people I trust, something else I feel with all those people is safe. Being with the people you trust is like taking a long, deep breath. You know your physical and emotional state is safe from harm, and you likely trust them with much more than your 12-year-old crush.
The time with people who let us take that deep breath is vital. Life can be hard, so you need to be able to take some of those hard things to safe places. You also need to be a safe place for others.
I’m looking at a photo on my desk as I write this. It’s of me and my brothers from a spring break trip when I was four or five. We’re in a swimming pool. I am sitting on my oldest brother’s shoulders, and he is sitting on my middle brother’s shoulders. A moment of trust was captured. If my middle brother lost his balance, we’d all have fallen, but we trusted his ability to stand strong for us all. We’re safe places for each other.
I’m blessed to say that my siblings aren’t the only people I trust, and they aren’t the only ones who trust me back either. It’s a vulnerable, but beautiful thing to share with others.
The hard part comes when you remember things like what happened in 6th grade. But here’s the thing – if I had stopped trusting people in middle school, I wouldn’t be someone who has been in love a ~ couple ~ of times. I’ve loved and I’ve lost … more than once. I’ve trusted and I’ve been hurt … more than once. I don’t think I’d miss out on the love to avoid heartbreak, just like I wouldn’t never trust someone again just in case it ends in hurt.
Choose wisely when deciding who to trust, but please choose. We all need a deep breath sometimes.
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